neffter/AS...thanks fellas. i know i sound like a broken record to most of you on this board and i apologize up front for that. to not have that "a ha, causative" reason for this...much more like she died than left. my little D is so sweet and loving on her father, it pains me a great deal in contrast to how her M sees me. anything to do with wedding, family or house she is discarding. very hard to understand but i guess the simple answer is give up seeking to understand. LOL what a d88n way to have to be, but that's the facts. again appreciate you all putting up with what sounds like the same musings from me over and over.