just struggling a bit these last few days...the usual stuff, wanting on the one hand to get the D process done just to be done with it, while not wanting it all. wondering about the future, apprehension...pretty clear it's finalize D, sell house, get place to live, work/enjoy time with D. lots of just "i can't believe this is happening/i don't want it to happen". my IC saying she doesn't think W has even begun to process the loss of our MR...blows my mind. oddly i don't have much thought about what W is thinking. it's more like just the "here i am, i'm tired of this, how much longer, what comes next".