for me I have focused on what/where I feel I could have been better in the MR and for her, that stuff is within my control to handle, address and improve. now if she has issues/health then it's all on her to deal with if/whenever she decides to. I will say that some of the stuff she has sent me has been delusional, very random and has made my IC say she has the emotional maturity of a 16yo girl so...as is said here, ain't my circus, ain't my monkeys...
having my W out of the house has been a blessing. I have been envious of those who have the chance to see their WW in house, BUT I have learned that was all down to my desire to "action" and show her my changes. once you free yourself from believing you have control over this...quicker you can get free of them the better.
this is a sickening process, no LBS wants to go through it, as ACC has told me many times, the loss of control can be debilitating and make you miserable. it is your life though, god help us all who must experience it and we can do nothing more than go straight through it as best we can.
At first I was I guess "happy" that my WW didn't move out. However, now that I continue to detach I actually loath the fact that she is home when I am and that we are on IHS. When WW is home and not traveling for work, I am scarce. WW traveling used to be a trigger before I confirmed the A. Now I feel at peace when she is gone, even knowing she is probably with OM. When I don't see her its easier to detach.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019