Thanks, b. I'll be praying for you and your D too.
I'm pretty positive my W's mental health is a major component. She has tried to separate the two (her own issues and our MR issues) on a few occasions. Once in the joint session we had with our two ICs. At my next IC, my therapist and I both commented on just how bizarre of a statement that really was. It really spoke to her mindset and just how lost and confused she is. It was probably her way of "justifying" her reasons for wanting out of the M by stating that our MR issues have nothing to do with what she is going through, personally. Maybe some day she will understand that they, in fact, are completely tied together. I'm just not sure if I'll be around if she ever does come to that realization.
I'm still waiting for her to communicate to me whether or not she's moving out. She told me last week she was. While it pains me to think about it, part of me does understand that it's probably a necessary part of the process and her own process. It would finally give her the time and space she needs/wants and also an opportunity to experience what life without me and the kids in it everyday really looks like. If that sobers her up, who knows. But I do know it will help in my detachment process. While I can't really say I look forward to it, I do think it might be necessary at this stage of the equation.
I'll be following your sitch. Take care!
M: 34 W:34 D:7 D:6 S:3
M: 9.5 years T: 12
OM found & BD (by me): 9/19/18 IHS begins W informs me she's moving out: 11/28/18 W files: 12/21/18 D Final: 2/25/19