B, interesting you start your update the way that you did. As I was getting ready for work today, because we are within 3 weeks of the anniversary of BD in my sitch, I was thinking how much I have grown personally since BD. If she came to me now and said "I tried, I still want out." My reaction would be "ok, good luck". It isn't that I don't love her, but I know that my happiness and fulfillment is bigger than her's and my relationship. That doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt, that it wouldn't be tough, but that in the end I would fine and move forward for me and my D.
I understand the struggle of "why". I think we humans struggle with that mightily in almost every aspect of life. "Why did I have to be in that car accident?" "Why did the company decide to defund my division?" "Why of all the humans on the planet did I get this diagnosis from my Dr?"
One of my favorite quotes is: "Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." I love this because it shows that our happiness and fulfillment in life is in our control! Just heard a story about a man that was living his life, went to a routine physical, and found out shortly later that he only had 4-6 weeks to live.I think about how I would react to that? Would I sulk and mope for the rest of my time, or would I get up and make the absolute most of those final weeks? How long I have to live is not up to me, but how I live the time I have is COMPLETELY up to me!
Hang in there B, you are one of the good ones.
M(51), W(52),D(16) M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018