Acc...i know i have high self esteem and for sure divorced twice is strongly against my measure of life success. that for sure i associate with failure and personal failure at that. I WAS NOT A GOOD, rather than WE both had our issues. and yes D having a non-traditional nuclear family, FAILURE. i have HUGE difficulty accepting that as ok. so i feel worthy, but in my scorecard of life i'm an utter failure. every and any vision i had for myself having lived a life of purpose and quality is scorched right now. so for sure i am good with me the person, but terrible with the story of my life. with time, IC and some acceptance hopefully i can free myself from that.
thing is, in no way did my parents mistreat me. i only have complete and totally positive memories of childhood. BUT in both of my MRs, my W's did not have great relationships with their parents. i never had to work hard for approval from my folks. they were always supportive and loving of me and not once throughout my childhood did i ever feel mistreated. and at least for my current wife i "thought" i chose well. i'm continuing to talk about my "picker" with my IC. i don't know that the scenario you suggest is correct to mine, BUT there is likely another scenario that does.