It's hard to hide the kind of pain you've gone through. It's also hard to want to share that all the time too.
I want to encourage you to focus on some of the positives in your life. You wanted the marriage so badly, then, when you got the marriage, you decided you didn't want as much as before. I think this is human nature, but think about it. I do the same thing, so this is no judgment.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.