Originally Posted by ballast
I'm still way WAYWARD in my reluctance to talk about it. for a big part of me it's like breaking down my last high school football game 30 years later. yeah I know I need to improve, make better decisions but I d**n sure don't feel like I'll be "playing" again.

Originally Posted by ballast
I just thankfully and most respectfully don't want to try again.

Originally Posted by ballast
but the conflict I have in me over ever trying again is much greater than whatever happens with me and W

sorry folks I'm actually checking and cancelling out my own foolishness. I'll be d88mned if I'm gonna let W's crazy A88 stop me from one day having a true loving relationship like I've been praying to God about all these years. just maybe through the pain and heartbreak of all this, he's preparing me for the one I've been meant to be with all along...gotta keep "shake it off", learn and get myself back in the game one of these days. apologies for talking to myself, but I couldn't let my dumb a88 comments from myself to myself stand.

feel MUCH better now.


Me:34 W:40
M:7 T:8
D Final: 6/19