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also my spidey sense has me feeling like W is stalling on the D process. she has been h8ll bent on it from the beginning, but it just seems like it's slowed. i know the process is annoying to her and not going as she expected. also i told her emotionless i'm trying to get us done asap as per her request. could be many other things going on of course, i don't know, don't care, but gut feel is that the "PUSH" is not as pushy. lol.


The PUSH is usually them wanting you to do all the work. This is why as anti-DBers we always advocate letting them do all of the work. It is there idea. They want it. Let them do it

Sorry if I repeat myself to you, I've told this to many people, my W was gungho on getting a job, getting an apartment and getting a D. She'd found an online D site that guaranteed a quick, and easy D. When she mentioned it I said, "yeah, I don't think that is going to work with a kid involved." And that started to break her fantasy D bubble.

I was still snooping back then and saw she researched "Ding (in our state) with kids". 16 step process! Drawn out over a year and a half (and that is IF things when smoothly).

I then contacted a lawyer. I let her know that. Further bubble breaking.

All WWs fantasize about a quick and easy D. Mine was even willing to give up full custody of our D, not want any money and give me the house to get it! When I told her no, we were going to share custody, I'd pay support, she'd get half of everything, and that we were going to sell the house and split those proceeds, that further broke her bubble. And it made her feel guilty. (I remember the house discussion vividly! I told he we were going to sell it and split the equity. She said "no, I don't want you to sell. I want D to have the stability of her home." (She had these plans of family dinners together in the house, and keeping a key to help with things.) I looked her dead in the eye and said "I have to sell it to move on. This is OUR home and it would be a constant reminder. It wouldn't be fair for you to go off and start this new life but for me not to be able to do the same."

More than likely her PUSH has slowed because she realizes that it isn't going to be short, or easy. Reality always takes a bite out of a WW's plans.


M(51), W(52),D(16)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018