I don't update much either. Partly because I don't have anonymity - I blew it somewhere along the way - but also because I don't often know what to post. I am so far down the road, but I really can't say that I have fully restored the M. Sure, we are together and so is our family. This is not the type of R that I imagined I would have in my life. I still doubt things all the time. You are fighting battles; perhaps that is a good thing. Would you say you are highly invested in making it work?

I don't even have much energy for that. The battles are more in my head. I don't even know if "battle" is a good word for me. I have these ongoing informal lists of pros and cons in my mind, and I know it's no way to live, but I can't seem to rally momentum in one direction or another. If that makes sense. I wouldn't even describe myself as stuck, but more in a lull or hiatus.


“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela