What's missing is him thinking of this as a marriage. The last time I tried a R talk, he said we married young, hadn't been a couple in a long time, and were "friends." That's not a marriage. I'm angry, that nearly 2 years out of the A, this is where he is.
Have you read The 5 Love Languages? It might be helpful. I sense that you and your H both feel like your needs aren't being met, and perhaps you're both waiting for the other to do something about it. I don't think your H is a full-blown WAS, maybe he is but it doesn't sound like it. It just sounds like an unhappy M. Read the 5LL and try some of the techniques on him and see if it starts making a difference.