Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Originally Posted by Notavic
I've basically been the pursuer for the last 2 years with him, pretending that everything was perfectly wonderful when it's not.

I assume you've stopped the pursuit behavior now that you're reading Sandi's rules every day? Those should be your template for how to behave. He's probably been feeling a lot of pressure and you want to remove the pressure.

Originally Posted by Notavic
I've been increasingly GAL, But I miss having a husband. But I can't force the role on him.

Can you clarify what's missing in the M? Sounds like he's still there and you are still doing things together, just curious what you want in the M that is missing. Are you basically living together as roommates?

What's missing is him thinking of this as a marriage. The last time I tried a R talk, he said we married young, hadn't been a couple in a long time, and were "friends." That's not a marriage. I'm angry, that nearly 2 years out of the A, this is where he is.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt, This is My Story

(Me: 57, DH62, S30, GS 6 & 3)