Thanks Neffer. The one thing I did do right immediately following BD was to focus on improving myself AND being the best dad I could be. I failed miserably at detaching until I stopped being in denial about the likelihood of her having an affair, read the books, stopped focusing on her and established some boundaries.

Now, I feel like I'm detached and have accepted that this divorce is going to happen. I still don't actually want it, but I don't control her.

I am a VERY different person than I was when she left me. I look different, I feel different, I act different, I THINK different...I know that I will be OK and that I will make an amazing partner in my future relationship(s), whether she is ever a part of that again or not.

Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s
M: 12
S: 7
BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day)
OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18