Just since I've started reading here, I have realized the many, many things I've done incorrectly in this R. My dh has been telling me that I've changed. I literally didn't see it. I couldn't see past his affair. So much anger and hurt. Now, I realize that I have been distant and resentful of him. Then, of course, I broke all of Sandy's rules once he started to pull away. So much clinging and following, and oversharing with friends, and begging, and aggressiveness, and trying to buy his affection. Now that he's told me that we are "friends," as opposed to a couple, I'm finally in a place to believe him and act accordingly.
We all made those mistakes at first. When you get bombed you really aren't prepared. Once you find DB/DR after you search due to BD, that is when you realize your mistakes. The good news is that it is never too late to start!
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -- Eleanor Roosevelt, This is My Story