Originally Posted By: dusty70
I did meet a woman, went on a few dates and had a real good time. I then realized as much as I wanted to continue I wasn't ready to invest the time needed to get to know her better. Once I let her know my feelings she understood but now I find myself feeling down not talking to her anymore. Like you said, need to spend some me time and re-center.

Dusty, don't feel like you need to rush, your BD is still pretty new and physical separation just 6 months. I know they say everyone moves on at different speeds, but I didn't even think about dating for about 15 months after physical separation.. You'll get there, and you met someone you liked right off the bat, so I'm sure that gives you a positive outlook for what's to come when you are ready.


As for me, I guess I didn't just focus on me for a week. Initially when GG told me she didn't have romantic feelings for me she said that she would like to still hang out, that I was a lot of fun and she enjoyed spending time with me; I immediately said we will still see each other around (hang out in two of the same groups) but that I didn't want to continue hanging out with just the two of us. Well after thinking about it, hanging out with someone that I am attracted to might be what I need, I enjoy talking and laughing with her and spending time with her does fill an emotional void.

Last week I signed up for a meditation class that was taking place last night, so yesterday afternoon I asked if she would join me; I picked her up and we went to the class (her car is still broken), enjoyed the meditation class then I stopped on the way back to her house to pick up some Cuban food for dinner and I bought her a Cuban sandwich and croquettes to try since she never had Cuban food before. I dropped her off at home with her food and went on my way.

In a way spending time with her makes me feel like I have someone in my life who knows and loves me... I know she doesn't love me, but she gets me, she cares about me and we get along great, it just fulfills that desire to be around someone who cares. I think it will also help when I meet someone else that I care about, help me keep the pressure off the new person and just enjoy that R for what it is without feeling like I need to feel loved. I'm really not sure if this is making sense, but it's how I feel.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized