Yeah the triggers, reminders, and spirals are horrible. I have focused on finding ways to work thru those thoughts. I also let my W know when some big ones hit.
We are doing good. But I have a hard time saying it will last. My W feels like we will be ok. I'm constantly improving myself, that's my mission. I want a better M.
Here's the thing, sooner or later we as LBS have to start to trust again for the M to grow, the problem we run into is when to drop our guard, because we don't want to ever feel that pain and misery we felt on BD. The other thing we must realize as LBS is it's not our S job to heal us its our own, and if you are like me, I was trying to make my W heal me. She has to focus on healing herself. Once we let go of being the fixer ibthink the M grows, if we hold on to that card of I can't trust you our M and growth will stagnate.
So I'm figure out now how to drop my guard and trust again. I figure out how to let go of the control of fixing and allow the work to happen.
I wish this thread had more activity.
M:36 W:36 T:11 M:10 S16, S12, S9, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.