Thanks so much for all the help and stern information. You gave me your candid perspective on what kind of husband I was and how I made my W feel. You help quill my expectations. What are the three steps?
You are right, about not holding what she did over her head. I asked the same questions over and over and over. Now I'm starting to move on from those questions.
Please, please, please, take it slow. You are going to have so many ups and downs. Get prepared for it now. Life has no definite outcomes but death. So dont put expectations on yourself or your W. Learn to become a safe place. You will want to know things and you are going to want her to be honest, understand, that some of the answers will hurt, but you have to let her provide you with the truth, without you becoming, angry, cold, or mean. The more she sees she can talk to you about how she feels, the more she will open up and the more she will be open to answer any question you ask.
The above dynamic helps you and your W become best friends. You will know her shame, her guilt, her pain and deepest hurt. Don't take knowing those things for granted. Even thou it hurts you, it helps her, and in turn, she will also learn the same about you.
Stay confident as much as you can. I walked thru some pity for a while, try your hardest to push past and thru those times. Keep the pressure off and keep your head up.
M:36 W:36 T:11 M:10 S16, S12, S9, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.