What a wide range of advice. I am no less confused than I was before.

I dont think husband is gone. He is still providing and isnt in the angry spewing place. He most certainly flipped a switch. He became someone the exact opposite of who he was. He used to pride himself on his honesty. Over the past two years I have seen him lie without batting on eye.

DR book says to ask for what you want but MLC advice is no R talk (which I know is the way to go with H). The jobs that I currently have are all off the books. I am working on knocking down my own cc debit. I should be paid off in another two-three months. Then I will start saving and fixing things in our house (window and carpet replacement). I dont think not sharing the money is the right direction since my H has paid all our bills for years. I want to move in a more unified direction.

I am going out tonight and letting him take care of kids. He came to bed last night ( most likely bc Im going out tonight and he wants to keep one foot in the door). Our anniversary is on the 16th. I do t even know what to think anymore,