best wishes for the new year everyone re: whatever you are going through - lets hope that this year be will better for you all.

I never expected to be back here so soon BUT just wanted to throw something out there. venting too...

A little reveal ...
Child C, was due to visit xH. I was surprised to learn that the visit was NOT being looked forward to. C was depressed, even angry at times. I think it was the lack of control, not having a say. Been told that father will collect him at - etc.

This surprised me, as there is so much more (!) to do with dad, great restaurants - a better time. And although things have been slowly & minimally improving for me, they are still very challenging & difficult. I can't always afford the field trips or a night to eat out etc.

The visit to H didnt materialize in the end - it was almost as though the kid 'willed' the thing eek Anyway, it 'opened my eyes' to what I have to address in future re visitation. Meanwhile, H has no idea that due to being a little overbearing before, the discomfort has grown for C (i only learned of this recently). I think he needs to see his father but am not sure how to gently coax. i asked him,C to look for the good in the visit!

First its a level road, then suddenly (!) theres a sink hole
Since then, I have discovered that due to mixed up dates, the error was my fault. I may not have checked but all roads lead to H making the error as I pointed out - with txts & quotes. I had no idea that resentment was growing as he was blaming me again.

The problem is as before, the cruelty. I feel detached from H but why does it affect me? I no longer love him - i definitely dont like him!! He is dishonest & manipulates, lies. Whats to like?

And yet, I was affected. I got instantly stupid before being able to collect my thoughts to 'defend' myself .. It must be the 'the level of attack'. H's msgs started normally enough - two parents msg-ing re child. Then all went wrong eek & the insults began. Very DISRESPECTFUL, condescending ...

I repeated the facts (instead of being quiet) before ending the conversation. He is embarrassed re his faux pas which is why i was attacked. I know.

Keeping my eye on the horizon
At this time though, I need to continue on this (good), although unknown, road.
i don't need distractions - but they will come because we have a child together.

Are there alternatives to corresponding with H? Has anyone had a 'go between' work for them? I am considering avoiding ALL contact with him if this continues (2nd time after about 6 months). I need this time for myself (which is also a problem for H). It was alright for me to be ignored & isolated on his terms but now that I need the space, that too is an issue (but thats another story! )

Do I have to maintain contact with him? (just planning here) what do you do when you have children & must maintain contact with these 'ppl.'?

I am soooooo tired of this. Just when things seems to be working out, just a LITTLE.
I just dont need this.

Again, best wishes for 2018.
hope things work out just in the way you need ..
pbetra


pbetra
----
M: 15 yrs (in 2014)
BD: 6/03/2014
Infidelity ('known' from July 2014)
Denied PA Feb 2015
2 leave Mar 2015 (left early Summer). Some contact.
Back briefly 2017 (after family death)
Separated 2017