Sorry I've been MIA it's been a busy, hectic week. So H got home Monday night. He had sent a text Monday afternoon that his plane was coming in late and he was going to stay at his boss's so that he didn't wake everyone up. Aw he's so thoughtful. At the advice of my friend, I blocked his number for the evening (I didn't believe he would try to contact me but I didn't want to stress about it if he didn't, what that meant etc etc).
Anyway, Tuesday I sent a text along the lines of - in case it isn't clear, I know about your GF and I've know about everything all along. You cannot be trusted, you're disrespectful to the boys, our marriage, and our family. You have lied about why you went up north and lied about how you're Spending our family money. You are no longer welcome in the home. I then told him he could work with me on visitation with the kids and offered him a schedule for the next two days.
He responded with he told me he was moving forward with his life, he's only worried about the kids, I need to respect the rest of his stuff at the house and everything else the attorneys can deal with. I chose not to respond to anything. He took the boys that night. Was late to pick them up and late to drop them off. Had the boys ask if I wanted him to grab me dinner on the way back. I declined and didn't say a word. Wednesday he took the boys to dinner, invited me, I again declined. I dropped the baby to him at the restaurant for an hour since he didn't have a car seat, I was dressed up, smiling, in a hurry and met my friend for a drink. I picked the kids up said goodnight and went about my business.
Thursday he made arrangement s to come to the house to get his stuff from the garage. I made plans for the boys and I to be gone and my dad be there. He showed up with his friend and a sheriff. He was supposed to be there only between 630-730 ( as agreed by our attorneys) he showed up at 8 and left at 930. My dad was stunned he brought a sheriff and H asked behind the cop are you sure there won't be a problem. My dad said he just was like uh no H no problem at all. After all H just had breakfast with my dad and all of us and spend the weekend at the soccer tournament. AND H also had plans to continue living here after his vacay with OW. The only reason he's not. In our home is because I kicked him out.
Anyway, after H got his stuff he called My dad from the garage and asked to come in. He shook my dads hand and apologized that things had to end this way and turned out this way. My dad said he just shook his head and said me too H me too. He also said H you know what you did tonight was unnecessary. H said I just felt safer with a third party. My dad said H after 13 years, it was unnecessary. BTW H had no idea I wouldn't be here with the kids.
I called My lawyer yesterday morning to let her know of this. She reached out to H attorney who apologized on behalf. Of H and said he advised H NOT to bring a sheriff but that he obviously doesn't listen.
Anyway the kicker is , H is moving. His attorney told mine we will be able to work this out probably without a mediator and just between our two attorneys. That 'H is in a hurry to finalize this divorce because he's moving up north and transferring to a office up north within his same company'. I was shocked, stunned you name it.
But like I said this is SUPPOSEDLY what he did with the girl he left for me. So I told my attorney I'm in no rush. I want the sky. I'm thinking he will give me what I want because he's in such a hurry to get out. He doesn't know I know about him moving there. I can't believe he would throw away the kids and I like that.
Anyway legal stuff is being worked out. He wants my truck back (the one he surprised me with for Christmas). I'm sure OW and her 3 kids will be driving it. His mother informed me they only saw him once for a couple hours. That he was driving a van with car seats (OWs) when she asked who's car it was he said a guy friend who owns a car shop who had leant it to him.
He's been texting and calling my oldest son a lot. Seems a lot of guilt based on his messages. My oldest responds sometimes but not often. I had to make him go with H Tuesday night. He cried. But I didn't want to start the first visit off with him thinking it's ok to not go spend time with his dad.
H and I don't communicate. I respond to maybe 10% of his texts. He doesn't text much. Maybe once a day if that.
I'm struggling a lot still. Some days are better than others. It's hard to do this alone. It saddens me that he can up and leave after spending one weekend with this girl. I just have to remember last time it fell apart and hopefully this time it will too. I really wish he didn't have to make these choices.
I've heard through the grapevine he's now telling people it's been over for a long time and we agreed he would stay in the home until the baby was born and I went back to work to afford an attorney.
It gets under my skin because it's not true. But then again nothing much he says is true.