I think you do want a relationship. Probably so badly, that you hope the wrong person will become the right one.
I've been guilty of it.
I think his whole putting the relationship on hold thing and not having the time thing was a chicken [censored] tactic of ending things. The truth is, he has the time for things he prioritizes, and he just couldn't end it the way a man should. He had no intention of picking things back up eventually. I hate to say it, but I wanted to, because I know you kind of clung to that so tightly.
My last guy gave me some BS of wanting to be friends so badly, and if we were are meant to be in the future we will be, and if he was wrong about this, he hopes I will forgive him someday. It was a bunch of BS. He has ignored the 2 texts I sent him, got rid of me on all social media, and never spoke to me again after the first week we broke up. he had a new GF in no time flat. He lives as if I don't exist, and quite honestly, it really is what's best for both of us.
I know feeling rejected is the worst. But because he was BSing about the not enough time thing, it still is not a reflection on you at all. I used to think when a guy rejected me there was something wrong with me, I wasn't good enough, ect. Then I realize I am simply not what they want or need. Which does not make me unworthy. It just makes us want different things, at different paces, in different ways.
For the right guy you will be a priority. You just haven't found him yet, but you will.