The boys and I had a good weekend ... I'm still recovering though! They won the tournament which was awesome!
I would be lying if I said I wasn't dealing with some frustration behind the scenes with my situation though.
Friday H watched me pack the whole night, loading the car with the tent coolers chairs etc and didn't lift a finger. I actually, for the first time, wasn't phased. I drank a bottle of wine while getting everything done and had a good night. Saturday morning we had to be out of the house by 6am so I got all the kids ready and we made it out of the house on time (small victories) I didn't wake H up so he was getting himself up as we left.
So we had a game first thing in the morning with a large gap in between. My parents had both come. Side note : my parents do not engage with H anymore. They will respond if he talks to them but they do not make conversation and we say with the other families. H tried to include himself and make conversation and people were polite but did not push conversation if that makes sense. We went to breakfast after the game. H followed us ... I was surprised. We had said bye at the game and there was no mention of him asking to come. I had a good time at breakfast. We sat across from each other and I didn't make conversation with him or try to directly talk to him we just had a general conversation about funny memories and the baby made us laugh because he was in such a good mood. We then we to a big surf shop that's well known and did some shopping. H followed us there as well. He just participates as if nothing is wrong. After the second soccer game I loaded the kids up and he said goodbye. S6 asked if H was coming to the hotel and in front of H I said no buddy we have stuff to do you will see him tomorrow. He told S6 he had to go take care of the dogs. My parents and the boys and I met a few of my friends at a local bar/restaurant on the water and had some drinks then went to the hotel to let the kids swim (it had a big water park with slides and a tiki bar haha) we stayed at the pool til probably 9 or so. H text me quite a few times about the kids if they were having fun, when he could call etc. I just replied warmly that we were all having a great time and thanks for asking! I also reminded him after he sent a few texts wanting to know when they would be available to call him that he could message or face time them directly. He said no he wanted to talk to them on my phone. So I had them call, S9 didn't want to talk to him but I told him he needed to (H heard me tell him that) so he said hi bye and gave me the phone and I hung up. I don't talk to him on the phone when he talks to the kids. I don't feel I need to unless he asks to if he has a question aboutnthe kids.
My dad was home that night at our house with H. I guess H asked him to go to dinner, twice. My dad declined.
Sunday was a repeat. Two games with a bjg gap in between. We had plans with another family from the team to get brunch by the pool and let the kids swim (we had a 5 hour break in between the final match) so H asked me in front of the boys if he was allowed to come hang out with us at the pool. I was aggravated that he did it in front of the kids so I said 'whatever you want to do H'.
My friends husband says my H is a psychopath. He does not understand how he acts and why he continues to want to do these things. What frustrates me is H doesn't acknowledge me ever. No hello goodbye goodnight NOTHING but yet I'm supposed to accommodate him. My friends and family said what I did was the right thing for the kids this weekend. So I just have to be content with that. But his life needs to change. He needs to see reality. This isn't. It
After w elect the game on Sunday he came over and asked if we were going out to eat on the way home. I said I wasn't sure but we would probably stop with our friends somewhere. He said ok and told the boys he was going to head home first to let the dogs out. I Asked him to go grocery shopping for the week.
Came home he put away groceries, packed lunches, and did homework. FIRST TIME he has EVER done any of those things. I thanked him.
I'm struggling with anger. Why couldn't he do those things when we were together. I mean why couldn't he help me out when I was 9 months pregnant doing even a fraction of what he did Sunday. Oh ya because I made him miserable and I made him be a bad father and now that divorce has been filed he's not miserable and can be a good dad. That's right
He did a few more things Sunday night. He heard me saying a light was out in the bedroom. I came back in from doing laundry to find he fixed the light. He then came in my room to ask a question and took my dinner plate and asked if I needed anything. I thanked him for fixing the light and that was it.
We didn't have much interaction yesterday. Besides him telling me something about the boys school project. He doesn't say goodnight to me still or do anything of that nature.
I don't know. I'm just who knows. My dad has said all weekend he has seen a shift in him the last couple weeks but especially the last 5 days. He said he is really trying to engage in conversation with my dad. He also said e can't get rid of him lol. Before he wouldn't come home til 9pm or later. Now he's home at 6 and home or around us all weekend. All of us are confused. He leaves for the week for his trip up north with his multiple OW on Wednesday. I can't wait to have the house without him there. It will be hard for me knowing what he's doing up there and that he's staying with OW for the week but I'll get through it.
I'm going to have a conversation with him maybe tonight depending on his mood. Very short and sweet. That this is our family/marital home and he can do as he pleases somewhere else. It's not working for me him continuing to be here. Illthank for all the changes he's made and the help he's given (blah blah) but that it's time he goes.