IMO, getting him out of the house is not being punitive, it's a safety issue, as well as a mental health issue. Your h does not have to have a violent past for tension to exist and increase.
T3, you have the most important people in your life under the same roof with someone who is in an adversarial position.
Divorce does not bring out the best in us. There's a baby who needs more attention at this stage, and you and the baby sleep odd hours. 3 kids in your kids' age groups is draining under the best of circumstances.
But Lest we forget,
he's been setting up the "he's too poor" scenario, buying things for himself without disclosing the purchases, and doing the public image management
(*Wounded Fool, I don't think T3 minds his paying attention to the baby, I think she minds the hypocrisy, b/c he never does that anywhere else )
T3, you could leave with the 3 kids if need be. But It is easier for him to leave, than you and 3 kids. AND for God's sake, He has been planning to leave the home, anyhow.
While the judge could say "well, legally sure he can stay," most judges prefer some distance. And many will ask the lawyers about a plan to avoid you all being in each other's faces.
Regardless, whatever ends up happening, it will be temporary.
Hang in there
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016