Aww, I'm sorry about that. It is an additional factor about dating in midlife - what stage of life are you and a partner in? Two people could be the same age, but one is retired and wants to travel the world, while the other has a teen and still needs to work. They're just not at the same place, and that's not really reconcilable for many people.

(Not that similar issues don't crop up in married people too. I have an employee in her fifties. Her husband has retired early. He wants her to quit and be retired with him - but this is only doable if they sell their house and move to another state, far from their four grandchildren who they adore spending time with. She'd rather stay here, work longer and be with family, but he's depressed and looking for the move to make him happy.

I've thought about this some because many men in my dating age range might already be retired, but I'm not going to be able to retire for at least a few more years - and I might choose to work longer. I just wouldn't be a fit for some guy who is already retired unless he's a loner homebody - in which case he might not be a fit for me lol!

It's not personal, and the good thing about dating at midlife, is you come to realize you don't want to date someone who isn't willing to put out the effort to be with you. I think your analysis is correct - this guy had an image of the life he wanted and wanted someone who could fit easily into that slot. Doesn't make him a bad person. Just not a fit.

I dated a few avoidant guys after my divorce. One of the things that sold me on my last boyfriend (even though he turned out to have serious issues) was that he was willing to put out the effort to travel to see me. You deserve a guy who is willing to put out the effort to woo you,