Shut down the fears, don't even "go there" with that scary little ghoul in the back of your mind.
Your h's choices about OWs or leaving you with 3 kids FEELS like a reflection on you.
Of course it does. But step back and see what we are telling you
You are allowed to have flaws. You are "entitled" to be human.
But your h is choosing to leave, (or daring you to file for D).
We are saying that^^6 is about HIM, not you.
Please trust that is true. Never mind your parent's answers to the endless questions of "Why/How?" Or how "if only YOU had ...." as if any of us could possibly control our spouses choices...(none of us would be here if that were true).
When you keep seeking answers to questions that are not answerable, you will get some false answers. Your parents are trying to explain the unexplainable.
When we project our own moral compasses or values onto our spouses, we are mystified.
We can only assume guilt/remorse/confusion b/c that is what it would take for US to make the choices THEY are making...
but you are not your h. Try to grasp that you may never grasp this.
And that you will be alright anyhow.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016