Hi,

I have been reading this forum for some time now to learn, but never really thought about posting. However, I feel that I need support in my DB’ing since everybody close to me want me to move on.

My wife came home from a 1 week trip together with our D4 and MIL in the beginning of May. The first thing she said to me was “I want a divorce”. I was chocked and started crying, saying “no” over and over again. I could not believe that it had come to this. W asked me to move out of our house so she could live there with our D. She suggested that I moved to a nearby city (50 km) where I work and that I could get to see our D 2 days/week. The next day W and D moved out from our house temporarily to her parents to give me some time and space, since I could not think straight.

I called and texted her during the coming weekend, the usual stuff. Declared my love, pointed out how good things had been before etc. But she told me that she had enough and that there were not any chances for us getting back together. When my wife came to pick up our D the first time I had her, she told me that it was to much time for me to spend with D, that it should only be 2 hours/week and that it would be 2 weeks before I could see her next time. It made me angry, and 1 week after BD I formulated an e-mail in where I tried to make a summary of the divorce:

- That I did not want to divorce her. That I loved her and asked her to go to MC with me.
- That it might be good for us to live apart for a while.
- That I would live in our house. That she wanted to leave and also has her family living close to us.
- That D should live with us every other week which is more or less the norm in our country.
- Stated that I wanted to cooperate as much as possible with her, to make this as easy as possible for our D.

The next day I got a letter from her L telling me to move out of the house immediately or else, that W left the house with our D to avoid confrontations, that D will live with W and that we should try to find time when I can meet D. I went emotionally out of control, but at least I did not contact W right away. I spoke with W several days later, she was furious that I could even suggest that D would live with me. We talked for several times during this week, also with mediation from her parents. They said that it was over and all I could do was moving on. That me and my W could probably be friends and that we should do this as amicable as possible for our D. It ended up with me getting to see our D daytime for 2-3 days/week if I agreed to sign divorce papers stating that I agreed with the divorce and that D should live with W mostly. This was however only a temporary solution and it would increase with time.

After this fight (and also after BD as well) W had a hard time speaking to me or even look at me. I could tell that she was highly disturbed when she met me when D was dropped off between us. Ds time with me went on as planned and neither of us had any problems with it initially. W bought an apartment a short time thereafter with financial help from her parents and requested that we should sell our house asap. I was hesitant at first, but found an apartment that suited me (not much out there on the market were I live) so I bought it and started the process to sell. Everything was finalized 2 weeks ago.

W has been really cold and business-like towards me all this time, but started to ease up a tiny bit after the house was sold. I have been reading that this is not unusual since she feels less pressure.

More will follow,
SwHubby


H-30s W-30s
M-5 T-10
D4
ILYBNILWY/BD-May/17
W moves out-May/17
D filed-May/17
House sold, move to apartment-Aug/17
D going through-Jan/18?