I was not expecting a text at 6:30am this morning, so when I was having my coffee and I looked at my phone and saw that it was Eric texting me, I knew something was wrong. I knew J3B was not doing well because Eric had invited me to come to the beach just weeks earlier to spend time with the people that helped me through the most difficult part of my life. …. one of those people that was going to be there was Jeff, while I had never met him in person he had a profound impact on me during my “journey”.
It has been several years since I have posted on these boards that I attribute to saving my life…… literally. So, when Eric told me this morning that J3B had died earlier this morning in the middle of the night it took some time for it to sink in…..in fact it has taken most of the day and going back and rereading some of my threads. (can’t believe I remembered my login) It has taken me most of the day to recall the feelings of despair, pain and hopelessness that I was experiencing 5 years ago. By some stroke of luck or divine intervention I found this place and scoured these threads for someone that had saved their marriage and navigated their way through their spouse’s Mid Life Crisis. That person was J3B. He was a couple of years ahead of me so his situation felt a little more relevant and he was still active on these boards, so when he started posting on my threads it felt like a shaft of light had come down from heaven and was giving me hope that my marriage would be miraculously saved, just like J3B.
I was right about one thing, and that was the miraculous shaft of light from heaven that had come down upon me but not to save my marriage but rather to save ME. J3B, among many others would teach me that you save yourself first and maybe your marriage would be saved as a byproduct of saving yourself. Jeff offered so much of himself to me and to many others here, delivering the words of wisdom, whacks of lumber to the forehead and wit and sarcasm to lighten the trip through hell that we ALL must traverse.
I regret never meeting this man in person but I feel I know him vicariously through the others here that I have had the opportunity call my friends to this day. My heart aches for his wife and children as I know there will be a huge hole in their lives where he once stood.
I know Jeff was not one for praise and adulation, he expressed to me many times that while his marriage was saved he will take only take credit for finding himself again and that while surviving his wife’s MLC it was truly saving himself and finding happiness on his own that was his true accomplishment.
Jeff, you are truly one of kind, a special soul that we have all been blessed with having been touched by your spirit, may God grant you the eternal peace, joy and happiness that you so richly deserve. You will be missed.
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.