A very inspiring post Jack_Three_Beans, and one I believe I'll be coming back to again & again.

All of the things you mention I have wrestled with over the last 7-8mnths and I'm sure I'll continue to do so for some time.

The point you make about how this may affect my children's future relationships & breaking a cycle, also weigh on me. I believe my W is following a path laid down by her father who had at least two As while she still lived at home as a young teen. There is the leading by example too, showing my two Ss how to deal with life's more difficult times; hope I'm up to the task.

I struggle with comparing myself to OM a lot, though I am working to break this unhealthy thinking. Although I don't know this person, I take some solace in that he chose to involve himself with a married woman, taking advantage of my W at a vulnerable time, which IMO exhibits a lack of integrity and true regard for others. Even my IC has pointed out that the OP is not better just different, that's all.

I know I have a lot more work to do on me but posts such as this give me strength, and true hope rather than any offered by my W at present.


Me 50, ExW 49
T21, M13+
S15, S13
BD #1: 25-Jan-2016 (EA confirmed & ILYBINILWY)
Sept-2016 Mediated Sep. starts
Oct-2016 W petitions for D
Jan-2017 R w OM admitted/confirmed
Jun-2018 D'd