This almost seems to be about your confidence in yourself.
It often isn't our changes that cause us to reduce intimacy, it's the effect it has on confidence.
For instance, weight gain of itself isn't the issue it's the effects of it, the stories we tell ourselves. I have a friend who is larger than life, and gorgeous, sexy and so sassy. At 20 lbs over weight I feel like a frumy dumpy. It's attitude.
Then things start to decline on the intimacy in an R, connection gets lost.
This is about you primarily and finding that spark in you. DB worked for you last time and there are positives there. You say that you are not as detached.
Have you another poster name, as it could be useful to know the journey that was successful for you last time. You can always say no V and I am happy with that.
So what do you think was key to repair of your R?
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW