Thanks for the replies! The meeting went really well. We didnt cover as much ground as we'd hoped but got bogged down on a few issues we saw differently. I have homework (house appraised, talk to realtor etc). I noticed toward the end H got cold and put his jacket on though the room didn't seem cold to me. That's happened to me a few times in this long process and i think in my case it has been shock. I felt it on bomb night for example, and about an hour into my last meeting with the financial advisor back in may. You hit your limit of handling it and then chills set in. Anyone else experience this? I don't know if my interpretation is correct but it reminded me this is really uncomfortable for him too. Esp being conflict avoidant and emotion averse.

Thanks re the child support info. We await the pro's calculation but i did learn h had been intentionally giving less than half the mortgage bc he felt he should be compensated since the kids and i live in the house and he doesnt.

It's ok with me though i disagree with his rationale i flat out need to move if i'm getting all i'll be getting. It'll mean i cant afford to share the house with him. I dont feel particularly emotional about these things anymore. I'm just curious to see if we can agree on a fair settlement and then i'll adjust our living conditions if needed. I do know we'll be fine even if we arent in a big house.

I'm glad i waited to do this because i feel good about whatever happens, and i'm no longer as affected by his words or actions.


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.