I had really hoped this thread would die a natural death, however you keep ressurrecting it.
I agree very whole heartedly with Hope and I am afraid that this thread will make more people think they are in abusive situations than really are.
Being here is confusing enough without throwing this into the mix. Those that truly are in abusive situations will figure it out when they are ready to face it.
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. That doesnt make my X a bad person, nor myself. It made us damaged. And it was up to each of us to recognize and stop the behavior. I will share though that a trained professional recognized it and suggested it to me about 15 years before I was ready to see it. Instaed of helping, I decided she was nuts and i never went back to her. A shame because things could have been very different.
I hope all of this stuff has helped you process your situation and your role in it, but I hope the time is near that you are ready to put this aside and begin to focus on your future instead of your past.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox