As I revealed on Erinns thread my wife has a username here and on at least 2 or 3 other forums and has followed me all over the internet reading what I wrote.
First of all if you are in this situation currently or suspect you may be in this position. DO not post on this thread, although please follow along and if you would like to comment hit notify and send me a private message.
There are some things you can do NOT to get in this position which are mostly contained in the post below.
Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka that I totally agree with.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
Also another thing you can do is pick a username that does not identify you in any way. I am guilty of this as every one of my usernames gives out information about myself or some other key piece of information about me. And yes I was formerly a cadet, and an oldpilot,if you look at my old posts you will see that I thought that if I changed my username that I could hide my identity which of course did not work. And I was able to find out my wifes usernames by seeing that she had usernames which described what she was feeling on those days. Her username here on this board is Replay, and on another board it is Divorce. Although she never made any posts on any boards that I was on.
Turns out that my wife read the posts here about key loggers and installed one on our computer and then was able to know everything about what I did on the internet.
After they find you changing your username is worthless as we all know that you can still track who you were. Looking at old posts and seeing that you were quoted or called out by your old username.
You can get a new name, which I also did on many boards. If you read many of my posts you may be able to figure out who else I am here on DB.
SO the first thing you should do is change all your usernames and passwords on all devices and see if you have any spyware on your devices or internet connections. Password protect everything if possible. Notify me or the admin here and request to have your threads moved to a safe location on the board that only moderators can see.
Do not post any information that you would not want your spouse to read or know about. I would caution to be especially careful about posting any personal information, or information concerning your legal strategies. My ex it seems was looking for an advantage on what she could use in court. Now that may be peculiar to her however I believe that the spouses that hunt down their LBS's are very manipulative and controlling. They are looking for any information that they can use to twist things around and mess things up. My guess is that YOU have enabled this type of behavior for years and failed to see your own co-dependent ways.
Anyways that is all I can think of for now. Please feel free to comment and make other suggestions.