Cadet, Hope and Lance

There is a big difference between being a 'target' and being a '.victim'.

I have been very careful (at least I have made a big effort) to refer to target in this thread.

The reason for that is that most targets never become victims, systematic abuse denies the target the 'victim' mentality. If you examine my thread, Zeldas or even TLees you will see it takes a great deal before a target excepts abuse. They struggle to reject that designation, it is much better to look at being targeted. I don't see myself as a victim, and have never cried that out, in fact I see too much denial for that. Even after crisis there is denial, heavens in some sitches there is Physical abuse.

Victim mentality is about denying responsibility, targets usually accept all responsibility for everything. They are polar opposites.

Baffled, bemused, hurt and eventually accepting yes, but 'woe is me' - no.

This thread is about being targeted not about being a faux victim.

Only 1-5% of sitches will be systematic and abusive. The question for each poster is that your sitch? If it is can you truly recognise it. If you are abusive in any way change it, don't just say my spouse is a faux victim. Can I refer you to the irrationality post on this thread please?

It is almost an irony that for those to whom it applies are likely to deny, to be Stockholm and dissonant, unlikely to be wayward, perhaps reactive or situational. Take a long time to say I am the target. Whereas those who cry 'victim' may well be just simply in a difficult M. It's an easy label to give for effect, but at its essence there is a difference between a target and a victim.

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 07/17/15 09:07 PM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW