I hesitate to write on this thread or back on mine...but word got to me that STBX has said of his behavior and what happened between us...'the accident (3 yrs ago), it will be a while before I am right again.'

And my little heart wants to bleed and hope, and I have had to tell myself twenty times today that the accident occurred three years after plenty of other abuses. It didn't cause anything, and yet I am hoping. I keep trying to see hope that he 'recognizes' he isn't right (yet, will not contact me to apologize or finish our divorce), hope! that he seems to have some introspection after all! (or this isn't a wonderfully pretty thing to say when he realizes I've not been keeping secrets like I used to). Maybe this means he can see he has things he needs to address! And I can have my 'soulmate' back again!

Welcome to crazy land.

I am having an absolute meltdown with all these feelings and knowing how dangerous for my sanity it would be to reach out to his poor victimized soul again, what another time or two on the rollercoaster would be. I post here, because this is part of the cycle as much as abuser, but as 'target.' The hope is intoxicating.

Mid 30's
Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH
D 9/15; NC forever on

You can't DR your way out of abuse.