V, I think what I'm trying to process is where my boundaries are now and where they were before, so I can recognize where I should be in the future. I don't think I was in a systematically abusive relationship, but that STBX has a general lack of consideration for others and a need to feel superior, and that he indulged that need at my expense frequently because I was at hand. If I'm honest, that part of him was there all along and i glossed over it.
The example set by his parents was also not good and was getting worse right up to when he dumped me.
But this is a great thread. Where IS that line? One abuse is too many but I know my behavior was not always great, especially at the end when the panic and fury set in. My boundaries are different now.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15