Thank you for putting up this thread, Zelda and Vanilla. Your journal was interesting to me, Vanilla, I could relate a lot to the ignoring, etc. The first few years of our marriage we did stuff together but at some point everything we did involved an electronic screen. When I complained about that he got defensive and angry and said that he didn't like .... well, basically anything that DIDN'T involve a screen.

His dad is pretty verbally abusive to his mother, though most of the family says "That's just his way..." STBX told me to shut up one time when we had to make a 15 minute detour to get his wallet (this is in the first three years of our marriage), and though I laid into him on that occasion and he never was that overt again, he did find sneakier ways to express his contempt for me.

I've been really examining the history of my marriage and there are definitely some flags in there. But I don't know if I'll ever know if there is fire where I'm seeing smoke or if my eyes are clouded by how things turned out.

Thanks for putting this up here, it is definitely needed.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.