Ad hoc old post from very early in my journey, when I was getting to grips with level 1 abuse. I hadn't understood at that point this was all about control.

When H goes into verbal diarrhoea mode. I spent my time analysing it.

Spew- incoherent rubbish designed to put you on edge.
response: STFU and walk away

Abusive spew: incoherent rubbish designed to put you on edge and insult
response: STFU and walk away, next day correct boundary infringement

Rant- all of your "faults" that annoy them designed to control
response- STFU and then validate " I can see why you might think that"

Abusive rant- designed to control and insult
response- STFU and walk away, next day correct boundary infringement

Sulk- make you feel small for wrong doing
response- STFU and ignore, act as if did not happen

Rail- designed to press your buttons keeps on about one issue, can even involve following you to the loo
response- STFU and leave to go GAL

Disappear- designed to make you worry and apprehensive
response- STFU detach and act as if all ok

Tantrum- no purpose whatsoever but feels good
response- STFU and look surprised

Blame- design to shift responsibility
response- validate and deflect if not responsible, if are responsible diffuse by accepting responsible then apologise then walk away

In all sitches detach and if necessary act confused. confused

Vanilla

Last edited by Vanilla; 06/13/15 06:58 PM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW