This thread has been created so that the effects of abuse on an R and the interaction with DB can be fully discussed. The origin of the thread is because several posters have been subject to abuse within their R.
It can take time, effort and patience to recognise abuse within an R. In particular the abuse suffered which is systematic and damaging to an R arises from personality issues within an abuser.
This DB forum is not an abuse forum and there are many other sites which will help with establishing abuse and helping with the complex interactions that occur. IRL considerable additional resources may be needed to counter abuse.
I speak here for myself and nothing said by me is intended to be endorsed by the board. I am not a vet or a moderator just a DB poster who has been subject to considerable abuse in her R. Nor am I qualified as a counsellor, merely qualified by experience.
If by reading the threads then you recognise an abuse pattern in your R then that is worthy of further considerable thought and discussion. If abuse is recognised and can be acknowledged then it can be addressed. If you sense that you are the abuser then stop and obtain help. Abuse will not assist your R to recover.
Compulsion, addiction (substance as well as behavioural) add a further complex dimension to R recovery and will also need addressing. Any activity if taken to excess will interfere with an R. Depression and other factors may also require treatment. There can be abuse factors in R relationships with compulsives and addicts.
Using the label of abuse in an R can also interrupt the recovery of that R. We may also discuss in the thread the types and levels of abuse. Primarily there is concern that abuse in some cases is fatal to an R.
Finally if in any doubt about safety in an R because of abuse or otherwise, first and foremost move to a position of safety.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW