Welcome to the board. Sorry you're here :-/

What are your boundaries? Find the answer to: "If I will take H back, ___________ has to happen."

Don't answer every phone call and don't make yourself available to him at every moment. His actions are destroying your marriage and flowers and calls aren't going to instantly heal you. Remember, you need time to yourself to rebuild your identity that he just shattered.

Your reaction and disgust seem extremely healthy and mature to me. I wish I handled myself more like you are handling this before my W blew up our marriage 8 months ago.

Get out of your house, go do something for you, take a beach day or something.

If you're like i was, you are reading advice and blogs about your sitch 24/7. You will need to work hard in the coming weeks to redirect the obsessive focus on your sitch into getting a life for yourself. Your H cannot be the sole person to support you through this. He has a LOT to deal with and you need others who will help you through this. Rely on this board and build your network of close friends NOW who support your efforts to save your marriage and keep your sanity.

Also, read Divorce Remedy. Seems cheesy with the whole 7 step thing, but there is great insight into the reality of what you're facing. It was helpful to me to read to realize how awful and destructive divorce really is and to understand my own emotions and feelings.

Hang in there.

Praying for you.

Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids