Jefe, I'm really pleased things are going well for you guys. It sounds like you are making lots of progress. Hopefully you're balancing some of the nicer stuff with dealing with some of the more difficult things too. I'm reminded of some comments from an Andrew G Marshall book - MHDLMAITSE.

"It's human nature to want to concentrate on the nice parts of rebuilding your relationship...cuddles, nights out...However, it is equally important to look at the nasty stuff, for example acknowledging anger, unexpressed hurt or working on changing communication. In this way you will be dismantling the wall between you one brick at a time (with each positive interaction) rather than trying to pretend it doesn't exist or looking for magical ways to blast it away.

In effect, you will be able to stare into the darkness, but still stand firm. Slowly but surely, you will discover some grey amog the black and even a few spots of light. If you can live in the moment, rather than worrying about next week, month or year, you will be able to talk calmly and your (spouse) will respond better. Slowly but surely, you are developing resilience and that's a great skill to posess - whatever happens next."

I hope this is helpful Jefe, and that you guys can face what is needed for a sustainable recovery. I'm only posting this because your post was mainly about the 'nice' stuff. It would be good to hear about how you are dealing with some of the 'nasty' stuff too.

Have a good weekend my friend (((Jefe)))


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus