Gerda, First let me say that I am sorry to come here and read that you had surgery and I do hope that things are better now. I did locate your last thread and have it moved it up for others to post to you.
Detaching isn't easy and it takes some time to get the hang of it. There is no "one size fits all" for responses and posters have to learn what will and will not work for themselves. For example, if he's not happy about something, say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and then walk away. Do not get into a discussion w/him and do not apologize if it's not your fault.
I'm going to copy your posting and paste it into your current thread so that others will respond. In fact, someone has asked about you recently.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.