Good advice Karma, I'll try to look at it as baby steps, I think that's the best I can do rght now. I did contact W this morning about something (I've made a new thread with what it was about - I don't know when threads become locked??), but I will definatly have to start thinking the way you said reference pushing her away by contacting. Love the "Fake it till you make it" comment.
Me 40 W 38 T 23 M 21 S21 S19 D16 S14 BD 19/12/2014 D mentioned 27/2/2015. I filed 08/04/2015, D Absolute 04/11/2015