It is honestly an honor and privilege, guys. If I can take any crappy experience in my life and use it in a positive way to help others, it's a win-win for all of us.
It's hard to apply a tougher stance in the beginning. Even though I was getting this same type of advice when I landed here the second time, I was so enthralled in my own pain and suffering - and feeling (even the second time) that my situation was "unique" and "different" - that I could have come up with a thousand reasons why the advice wasn't applicable to, or good for, my particular situation.
But precisely BECAUSE I had been here once before - and my rational-mind KNEW what worked - I was able to take a tougher stance (and quicker) the second time around. When I started trusting that people on the outside - but people with loads of experience and research (wisdom) under their belts - could put my situation in better focus than I could (because I was too emotionally-invested and hurting), and when I started trying out the advice they gave me, I started feeling more confident and more in-charge of my own destiny. Now that my H is home, he says my "confidence" - and how I never acted sad around him; I just moved right on with life with a smile on my face - is precisely what re-attracted him. (Granted, he didn't see me cry each time he left after visiting the kids, but let's keep that our little secret. Even THAT became better in time ...)
I don't want people to come back here a second time ... unless you're coming back, happy in your life, to help shepherd others out of their own pit of hell. Know what I mean?
Confidence, y'all. That's where it's at.
BELIEVE you'll be ok. In fact, BETTER than ok. Because you WILL.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014