Maybe my last post was a bit strong, it was just bugging me. As I say, I don't mean to offend anyone and I am really trying to take it all on board. I know I should listen to people here because they've heard it all before and lived it. I don't want to alienate myself from people here at all.
Regarding the depression, I'm already on antidepressants. I admitted to myself and my wife that I thought I needed help just before Christmas. 48 hours later, and 4 days before Christmas Day...BD. I started on them over Christmas (had to go to the doctor after she left). They are helping. I've booked onto an Emotional Wellbeing course in a couple of weeks and I am looking at getting some councilling through my employer. I'm hoping that the combination of the three will help me to manage my emotions better. I know there is worse to come.
You're right that my response is part of why I'm here. I do get on a rant sometimes..obviously W did not appreciate those either.
I know I need to be stronger...and I know it needs to be now!
Right now, I'm trying to meet up with old and new friends more, keeping active in the gym (in training as above), things like that to try and stop or at least help the sadness situation. As far as compassion goes, I have two very close friends, one of which has been through a period of depression and made it, the other of which knows my W and I quite well. Both of these have been terrific in just being someone to talk to, and I will admit that they have swung the 2x4 at me often too.
I'll keep posting and work on being stronger.
Me 40 W 38 T 23 M 21 S21 S19 D16 S14 BD 19/12/2014 D mentioned 27/2/2015. I filed 08/04/2015, D Absolute 04/11/2015