Hey Barry. Listen... I was exactly where you are when I landed here first. Exactly. This is not going to get any easier for you. It is going to get much much much much harder. Almost everyday.

People here are swinging the 2x4s to get you ready for what is to come. No one here is going to treat you worse than your W likely will in times to come.

All the advice you have received so far is EXACTLY what you need to here. Please look at your reaction to the advice given. If it *stings* you to to hear that you are dripping with sadness... a part of you KNOWS that is what you need to work on RIGHT NOW.

You WILL NOT get better and more well meaning support FOR FREE anyplace else. If you get a particularly painful 2x4... take time to figure why you feel the way you do about what was said.

Then come back here... say "Thank you for the 2x4" and talk about what you learned and.. most imporatantly... what you're going to do about it starting NOW.

Your reaction to the 2x4s in your last post is part of the reason you are here now. There is no way around that.

I am not a vet. My W started saying almost exactly what your W says now. I lived with her for almost 2 months before I found out she was in a PA the whole time. I am still living through this. I still make mistakes... I still get 2x4s many times harder that yours. I eat them up like candy.

If you think you're suffering from depression... go to an IC and get antidepressants. I did and I NEVER thought I would ever do this. Part of being strong now is getting help. You will need it. Whatever you're feeling, your W WILL NOT show you the compassion you want. The 2X4s are REAL compassion.

You MUST get stronger NOW.

What are you going to do about your sadness and need for compassion right now?

Last edited by HPoirot; 01/22/15 04:04 PM.

Me: 44
W: 45
S: 11
Married: 15
Together: 18
BD: 9/29/2014
OM discovered: 10/16/2014
I left her behind: 12/14/2014