I'm beginning to think I've possibly made a mistake in coming here.

Although I do appreciate people taking the time to read my story and to think about it and type a response, a lot of the posts being sent are really making me feel worse rather than any better. I realise that people are only saying it how they see it, but my God people, remember what it was like for you and try to show a little more compassion!!
I realise that things are posted with the best of INTENT, it's some of the CONTENT that's getting to me.

Maybe my posts are "dripping with sadness and despair".
I'm not a robot who can just switch it all off! This is 4 weeks old, not 4 months or 4 years.
My hat goes off to people who can just say "That's it, I'm moving on with or without you" and can cope better than I with the feeling of abandonment by their WAS. Maybe it's because I'm suffering from depression as well, I don't know.

I myself don't mean to be rude Train, but to tell someone who is already down and that has joined a forum looking for support in their hour of need that they're a spineless, weak, pitiful, sappy doormat who is not fighting, laying down playing dead and comes across as a beaten dog is tantamount to sticking the boot in.
I didn't come here to have my ego massaged, but neither did I come here to be insulted. Of course my confidence is shot to pieces.
It's hardly a confidence booster having this happen. Again, maybe some people may be able to turn their biggest defeat into their biggest triumph overnight - I'm sorry if that's not something I can do right now.

I'm sure all the vet's here will frown upon this post. I'm not meaning to offend anyone.
All I'm saying is that sometimes, maybe that 2 x 4 needs to be swung a little softer, particularly in the Newcomers section.

I don't mean to make anyone fell gloomy or depressed in reading my posts, so I'm sorry if that's how they come across.
All I've tried to do is tell people that I'm doing my best to cope with a really sh!tty situation and that I am actually making efforts to GAL so I can feel better about myself. No, I don't believe there is an OM..maybe I'm wrong about that but to have people keep on and on about it in every post doesn't help.

It doesn't appear to matter how many times I say anything , or how I justify my decisions, people are unbelieving of my efforts to help myself and/or are so bitter about their own situations with thier spouses's OP that of course that must be the case in every situation.
Is that a bit harsh?...maybe. Is that how things appear to me?...definatly.

For those still reading and are interested. To answer the question of do I like adventure etc. I'm actually planning to cycle from Lands End to John O Groats (length of Britain) and have started training for it already. I'd thought about it a few years ago but money and time away from family stopped me. All this has really made the decision to do it more definate. It won't be for a while as it takes a high fitness level to do it in 10 days. I don't want to be a rock star, a sky-diver, a base jumper or anything else that some people may find adventurous. I'm happy being with friends and family. Is that so bad?


Me 40 W 38
T 23 M 21
S21 S19 D16 S14
BD 19/12/2014
D mentioned 27/2/2015.
I filed 08/04/2015, D Absolute 04/11/2015