Originally Posted By: Mach1
Originally Posted By: T0324
Funny right ... When I fear something I continually bring it up hoping it will be resolved because of the anxiety it gets me.

I need to work on just letting things be. What will be will be regardless of the stress I place on myself, H, or anyone else.

So how do you work on that ??

How do you change that about yourself ???

What does it look like when it is changed ???

GOOD questions^^...

Here's another one.

Have you ever thought that maybe the stress you feel about something, something bad or scary --happening, is increased b/c of the anxiety you feel about it?

As opposed to worry or fears that you think have a use, or a function, i.e. to lessen the risks of 'X' happening,

ever wonder if the fears and anxieties themselves, can cause it to happen? Obvious ones are the self fulfilling prophecies...and similar situations.

Example-- Think of a jealous insecure boyfriend who constantly fears that his gf will cheat on him, and says so, maybe with that "nice, humble guy" at work...

So the boyfriend ultimately makes a jerk of himself, by snooping and or trying to control his gf, by making snarky remarks

to sow doubt in her and to undermine her self confidence ("So she won't take me for granted/be grateful for ME"....???) However,

By treating her badly, he is effectively pushing her into the arms of OM

but then he might say "See? I was right. She was cheating all this time!"

My point is just that, worry can be wasteful and worse; it can be counter productive. Useless worry is worse than useless, which is semi neutral.

Sometimes OUR FEAR of something, can lead us to behaving in ways that actually increase the risk of that event,

rather than usefully modifying our behavior in ways that would lessen the risks.

Make sense?

M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
I File D 10/16
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

Embrace the Change