No worries Barry,

I'll catch up on your thread this evening still in the middle of bits of work this afternoon.

As I said no evidence of OM in my sitch, wife could of course announce she has one and he's moving in at any minute, think the guys are trying to get you to understand that we as lbs will be the absolute last to know their intentions behind friends, family and probably people they meet at the shops. Also, as Cadet says above, if there isnt the reality of it all may take longer to appear than if its a case of being drawn away by a fantasy, if ever it does.

When waw/wah go they have already decided upon their actions and prepped themselves for it, part of that is isolating us from their intentions, not to hurt us - in my w's case she kept saying she didnt want to hurt me - but because its a necessary step in their plan or script, thats a truth its hard to get your head wrapped around but its important you do or detaching will be much more difficult as you tie yourself in knots wondering why they havent told you something.

Definitely get and read DB/DR in my view they have been very very useful (NB I have not resolved my sitch either way, w and I are living apart so I am not a veteran so temper my advice with the knowledge im a reative newbie at all this) but Ive found the forum invaluable not just for advice but also the emotional support it offers.

Ah you're in the UK ok cool, helps to know so I dont tell you something regarding, say the NHS, and find you're in antarctica!

BTW you can book councelling through your doctor surgery via NHS how long it takes to get it will depend on where you are etc. Also if you have, say, bupa healthcare etc through work check if they offer emotional councelling, in my case they did and it was extremely helpful.

Take it easy.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015