Thanks for your reply Edz.

I was actively looking for this type of forum where i could get some advice, support, and general suggestions from like-minded people on how they coped with what's going on and what worked for them/what didn't. I've read some helpful suggestions so far (GAL,Detach,180 etc)'s putting them into practice that i'm currently struggling to do even though I know that they're all good advice.

I know what my faults have been and what part I've played in how we got here so I know what things I need to work on, but my mind is reeling from it all so much at the moment it's hard to focus on myself.
I'm just trying to work on the smaller attainable goals at the moment.

I'll take a look at your thread shortly. I was hoping someone would come along where there isn't evidence of an OM. I do think that that applies to my situation too. I've had a few replies where people have suggested that there is an OM or of cheating already, and although I concede that I need to try and prepare myself for the possiblilty (which i'm struggling to do as well), I honestly don't think that's the case at the moment.

No offence to the ones that did say that, I'm sure that in a lot of cases it IS true and I'm sure you're only trying to get give me a reality check.

I'm sorry, i don't know how to put the proper quote box into a post, but where you said...

You need to detach, a word you will hear again and again and then again then you'll hear it again.

This doesnt mean giving up, not caring, not loving her, not wanting to be back together or the 100 other things you will tell yourself as to why you're not detaching. It means you will do all of the above but you wont make drawing every breath in your day about missing her.

That is exactly what i need to do! I don't want to give up but I do miss her litteraly every minute of the day - even though she's hurt me so much. I can't help loving her.

You're right that I am worrying about what's in W's mind and it is driving me round the twist. I'm trying not to let it but it's the most difficult thing I've ever experienced. I'm sure that's the same for anyone going through this.

I haven't read DB/DR yet, I'm going to order them as it seems like they are a must for a LBS!

I have made enquiries for counciling and I'm also going to attend an emotional wellbeing course (doesn't start until February 26th though) which sounds like it may be up my street too. I'm in the UK, i've added that to the sidebar.

Again, thanks for the response.


Me 40 W 38
T 23 M 21
S21 S19 D16 S14
BD 19/12/2014
D mentioned 27/2/2015.
I filed 08/04/2015, D Absolute 04/11/2015