Thank you so much for that 25, and the rest of you. Your words are very comforting, and I needed it. You are right, of course, she wasn't ashamed of me. I was mostly speaking out of my own regret. Being the firstborn child, I wanted to always make my parents proud. She was so shocked (and quite concerned) when she found out about OM, but she did not fail to let me know she still loved me very much. We were very close, and I already miss her so much. I am so blessed to have had her.
Thank you all.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!